From All-American Drinker to Sober Strong: My Journey to Quitting Alcohol Addiction
Alcohol addiction is a silent thief, creeping into your life under the guise of "fun," "socializing," or "just one more." For me, it started earlier than most—my first sip of beer was at age one, handed to me as a toddler at a family gathering, and by 13, I was bartending my parents' raucous parties. I thought I was in control, the master of the party, the "All-American drinker." But looking back, I see how alcohol shaped my life, relationships, and health in ways I never imagined—until it nearly destroyed everything. Today, I'm over seven years sober, 82 pounds lighter, and living a life of clarity and purpose I never thought possible. If you're here because you're curious about quitting drinking, struggling with alcohol addiction, or just looking for hope, let me share my story—and show you that change is not only possible but transformative, no matter where you are on your journey.
The Party Life: A Double-Edged Sword
Growing up, alcohol was as ubiquitous as air. Family gatherings, holidays, even casual weeknights were drenched in it. By the time I hit high school, I was a star athlete, and drinking took a backseat—sports were my focus. But when I entered the business world, everything changed. I discovered alcohol's seductive power to "accelerate" relationships. Suddenly, I was the guy who always bought the next round, the one who turned martini lunches into two-bottle wine nights, the host who kept the party going until dawn. I built successful businesses in the automotive insurance industry, but at what cost? Two failed marriages, strained relationships with my kids, and a body that was screaming for help.
I remember thinking I was invincible—an "All-American drinker," as I jokingly called myself. I even quipped that I deserved a plaque for my skills, as if drinking were an Olympic sport. But behind closed doors, the reality was far from glamorous. My wife at the time endured countless nights of me bringing home an entourage of drunken clients, unannounced, expecting her to play hostess. "Hey, we're having a party—can you make sure the wine's out and I'll bring some steaks?" I'd say, as if it were no big deal. It wasn't just a once-a-week thing; it was multiple times a week, sometimes more. The wear and tear on our relationship was devastating, and I was too far gone to see it. I was rude, absent, and self-absorbed, all while convincing myself I was the "fun" husband and dad.
Alcohol became my crutch, my social lubricant, my escape. But it was also my destroyer. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), alcohol misuse contributes to over 140,000 deaths annually in the U.S. alone, often through chronic health conditions, accidents, or strained relationships. I was on a path to becoming one of those statistics, but I didn't see it—or didn't want to.
The Wake-Up Call: Facing the Truth About Alcohol Addiction
They say change happens when the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of changing. For me, that moment came in 2017, but it wasn't a single lightning bolt of realization—it was a slow, agonizing buildup of red flags. I was 82 pounds overweight, on medications for high blood pressure, cholesterol, and even bipolar disorder, which I later realized was exacerbated by my drinking. My body was a ticking time bomb, and the warning signs were everywhere—failed marriages, neglected kids, and business associates subtly suggesting I "slow down." But it wasn't until I looked in the mirror and realized I needed to change—for me, not anyone else—that I took action.
Alcohol is toxic to your body in ways most people don't realize. The World Health Organization (WHO) classifies alcohol as a Group 1 carcinogen, putting it in the same category as tobacco and asbestos. It damages your liver, heart, brain, and immune system, and over time, it erodes your mental health, relationships, and self-worth. For me, the warning signs were clear, but I ignored them until the stakes were life-or-death. I remember thinking, "If my doctor tells me I have four months to live unless I quit drinking, what would I do?" Some people roll the dice, but I chose to fight.
I also had to confront the lies I told myself. "I'm just drinking beer now, not vodka—I'm slowing down," I'd say, as if that made a difference. It's laughable now, but at the time, I genuinely believed I was making progress. The truth is, alcohol addiction isn't about the type of drink—it's about the hold it has on your life. As the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) notes, binge drinking (four or more drinks for women, five or more for men in one sitting) is just as harmful as daily heavy drinking, and I was guilty of both.
Hitting Rock Bottom: A Gradual Slide, Not a Crash
People often ask if I had a "rock bottom" moment, expecting a dramatic tale of a car accident or public humiliation. For me, it wasn't a single, earth-shattering event but a gradual slide into despair. The red flags piled up—business associates raising eyebrows in Vegas hot tubs, my wife checking out emotionally, my kids experiencing a dad who was physically present but not truly there. I remember my daughter texting me from upstairs during one of my parties, asking me to turn the music down so she could study. Meanwhile, my son saw me as the "fun dad" who threw epic parties, complete with shots for his college friends. Two kids, same household, two very different experiences—all shaped by my alcohol addiction.
My rock bottom was a culmination of moments, each one a brick in the wall of my denial. There was the time I turned my RV into a "party on wheels" during my son's high school baseball tournaments, more focused on keeping the parents' cups full of beer or Bloody Marys than on watching him play. There were the countless nights I stumbled home, oblivious to the chaos I was causing. And there was the final straw: the realization that my marriage was beyond repair, my kids were growing up without a present father, and my health was deteriorating fast.
In October 2017, I checked into rehab for ten days. It was an intense program called aversion therapy, where they give you alcohol and a substance like ipecac to induce vomiting, conditioning your brain to associate alcohol with sickness. It was brutal, almost inhumane, but it worked for me, boasting a 72% success rate. (Note: This specific program is no longer around, likely due to its intensity, but there are many effective treatment options available today, such as those outlined by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA).) On Halloween, the day I got out, I was served divorce papers—a stark reminder of the damage I'd caused. But it was also a turning point. I had a choice: go back to the drinking bubble or get my life together.
The Power of Choice: Quitting Drinking for Good
Quitting drinking wasn't easy, but it was the best decision I ever made. I realized that no one can convince you to change until you decide it's time. As I say in my book, "Until you look in the mirror and say, 'I need to do something,' nothing will happen." For me, rehab was just the beginning. The real work came in rebuilding my life, one small step at a time.
One of the biggest shifts was learning to forgive myself. I had to let go of the guilt of not being the best dad, husband, or boss. I adopted a mantra: "Forgive your younger self, believe in your current self, and create your future self." This mindset, inspired by books like The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, helped me focus on the present while building a better tomorrow. The book’s principles—be impeccable with your word, don’t take anything personally, don’t make assumptions, and always do your best—became my guiding lights, especially during the early, shaky days of sobriety.
Another pivotal realization came during rehab: I was trying to quit for everyone else—my wife, my kids, my business. But on the third day, it hit me like a ton of bricks: if I'm not right within myself, nothing else will be right. I had to fix myself from the inside out to be a better dad, husband, business owner, friend, and brother. This shift in perspective was life-changing. It wasn't about pleasing others; it was about saving myself.
The Toolbox: How I Stay Sober and Thrive
Quitting drinking is just the first step; staying sober is a daily commitment. Over the years, I've built a toolbox of habits that keep me grounded, healthy, and thriving. Here's what's in it, along with why each tool matters:
Fitness: I work out six to seven days a week, not as a "gym rat" but as a way to replace alcohol with a healthy vice. Exercise has been shown to reduce cravings, improve mental health, and boost dopamine levels naturally, according to Harvard Medical School. For me, it's not just about physical health—it's about mental clarity and discipline.
Cold Plunging: It started with four seconds of unbearable cold, but now I can do 3.5 minutes. Cold plunging is more than a physical challenge; it's a metaphor for life—get uncomfortable to get comfortable. Research from the Journal of Clinical Investigation suggests cold exposure can reduce stress and inflammation, making it a powerful sobriety tool.
Journaling: I never thought I'd be a "journaling guy"—I thought it was for 87-year-old ladies, not 50-something dudes. But since writing my book, I journal every morning, focusing on gratitude and intentions. I write things like, "I attract health and fitness," "I attract new opportunities," and "I'm thankful for my kids, my health, my close circle." Studies from UC Berkeley show gratitude journaling can improve mental health and resilience, especially for those in recovery.
Healthy Eating: When I quit drinking, I swapped alcohol for sugar cravings (12 cookies? Gone in a flash!), but I'm working on balance. I also use IV drips and supplements to support longevity, a growing field in health science. The National Institutes of Health (NIH) highlights how nutrient deficiencies are common in recovering alcoholics, making diet and supplementation critical.
Being Present: I learned the hard way that being physically present isn't enough. Today, my relationships with my kids are stronger than ever because I'm truly there. Whether it's attending their events without a drink in hand or simply listening without distraction, presence is my greatest gift to them—and myself.
Morning Routine: My mornings are sacred. I don't look at my phone for the first 30 minutes. I step outside (even in chilly Seattle winters), do breathwork, start the coffee maker (hopefully with my NIKAO Coffee—more on that later), journal for a few minutes, and then hit the gym for no more than an hour. I finish with a steam room session and a cold plunge. If I miss any part of this routine, I feel it—and not in a good way.
Building this toolbox didn't happen overnight. It took years of stacking small habits, one at a time. When people ask, "How did you lose 82 pounds?" or "How did you quit drinking?" my answer is always the same: one pound, one day, one second at a time. Big goals are achieved through tiny, consistent steps. As James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, says, "You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems." My systems—my toolbox—keep me sober and thriving.
The Sober Social Life: Navigating Bars and Drunk People
One question I get a lot is, "How do you handle being around drunk people now that you're sober?" For me, it was an easy transition, largely because I was already the "party accelerator" in my drinking days. I still go to bars, buy rounds for friends, and enjoy the vibe—I'm just doing it sober. I wake up at 5:30 a.m. feeling like a million bucks while others are nursing hangovers, searching for a Bloody Mary at 7:30. Mocktails and zero-proof beers (now widely available at stores like Fred Meyer, with brands like Budweiser and Michelob Ultra offering non-alcoholic options) make it easy to enjoy the social scene without compromising my sobriety.
That said, I get why some people struggle in these environments. Alcohol changes the room—people get louder, more repetitive, and sometimes more irritable. I've learned to mentally prepare and even make fun of the situation. I watch couples start fights over nothing, hear the same story told six times, and see the chaos unfold, all while sipping my soda water. But I'm aware of my limits. If it gets too much, I take myself out of it. My close circle—my "core four," as I call them—includes two drinkers and two non-drinkers, and they've been my anchors through this journey. They don't judge me, and I don't judge them. We coexist, and it works.
For those early in sobriety, I often recommend reevaluating your social circle. I once advised a friend's son, who was struggling with excessive drinking, to change his circle. "Your circle is part smokers, part drinkers, and until you're out of that environment, it'll be hard to change," I told him. It's uncomfortable, but as I always say, "Choose your hard." Staying in a toxic environment is hard; leaving it is hard. Choose the hard that leads to a better life.
The Ripple Effect: How Quitting Drinking Transforms Everything
Taking alcohol out of the equation changes everything. Relationships improve, health rebounds, and clarity returns. Science backs this up—alcohol blocks neurological receptors, acting as a "truth serum" that lowers inhibitions and heightens irritability, according to Psychology Today. It also disrupts the brain's reward system, making it harder to feel joy without it, as explained by the American Psychological Association (APA). Remove it, and troubled relationships get better; add it, and they get worse.
For me, quitting drinking led to a cascade of positive changes. I lost 82 pounds, got off all my medications, and rebuilt my relationships. My business even improved—turns out, you don't need alcohol to be the life of the party. I sold my business in 2016, but my sober years have been my most productive and fulfilling. Today, I'm living proof that sobriety isn't about giving up fun; it's about gaining freedom.
One of the most profound changes was in my relationships, especially with my kids. My son, now 29, remembers the "party dad" who was always surrounded by chaos, while my daughter, now 27, remembers the dad whose parties disrupted her studies. My youngest, 14, has only known the sober me. Quitting drinking allowed me to be truly present for them, not just physically there but emotionally engaged. It's a lesson I wish I'd learned sooner: kids catch more than they're taught. They see the environment you create, and it shapes them in ways you can't predict.
Overcoming Excuses: Age, Time, and the Myth of "It's Too Late"
A common excuse I hear, especially from people my age (I'm 52), is, "It's harder for me because I've been drinking longer." I call bullshit on that. It's just an excuse. Quitting drinking is hard at any age, but it's never too late. The NIAAA reports that older adults can benefit just as much from sobriety as younger people, often seeing faster improvements in health due to the cumulative damage alcohol has caused. Age isn't the barrier—mindset is.
I also hear, "I might drink again, so why bother?" To that, I say: it's not about the time you've been sober; it's about the confidence you have in your decision. I've been sober for over seven years, and I know I'll never drink again—not because of the time, but because I know I'm done. Compare that to a close friend of mine who was sober for 7-10 years and recently started drinking again. Why? Because he never truly committed to the "why" behind his sobriety. There's nothing worse than disappointing yourself, and that's the fuel that keeps me going.
Ready to Quit Drinking? Start Here
If you're reading this and thinking, "I need to do something," you're already on the right path. Quitting drinking isn't about instant gratification—it's about discipline, patience, and small, consistent steps. Here are some practical tips to get started, backed by research and my own experience:
Look in the Mirror: Change starts with you. No one can convince you to quit until you're ready. As Tony Robbins says, "Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change."
Stack Small Habits: Big goals—like losing 80 pounds or quitting drinking—happen one step at a time. Start with a 10-second cold plunge, a single sober day, or a 15-minute walk. Research from BJ Fogg, author of Tiny Habits, shows that small, consistent actions lead to lasting change.
Get Support: Whether it's rehab, therapy, or a sober coach, having guidance can make all the difference. Check out my 1:1 Sober Coaching for personalized support tailored to your journey.
Change Your Environment: If your social circle or daily routine revolves around alcohol, make changes. The APA emphasizes the importance of environmental cues in breaking addiction cycles.
Choose Your Hard: Staying in addiction is hard. Getting sober is hard. Choose the hard that leads to a better life. As I told a friend doing the 75 Hard challenge, "It's hard to eat bad and stay out of shape. It's hard to eat well and get in shape. Choose your hard."
Join the Sober Strong Movement
My journey inspired me to write a book, launch a podcast, and even start a coffee brand—NIKAO Coffee—to support others in overcoming addiction. Our locally roasted, organic, chemical-free coffee (including decaf, espresso, and blends like "No Regrets" and "Fresh Start") is a small way to celebrate sobriety every morning. Coffee became part of my morning ritual, a moment of gratitude and intention, and I want it to be part of yours, too.
Want to learn more? Visit my Sober Strong hub for additional content, resources, and ways to connect. My book will make you laugh, cry, and ask hard questions—it's the raw, unfiltered story of my journey, and I hope it inspires you to start yours.
Quitting drinking isn't just about stopping alcohol; it's about starting a new life. It's about forgiving your past, embracing your present, and creating the future you deserve. If I can do it, so can you. Let's get sober strong together.
